I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
