so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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