i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
