She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
