discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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