i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
