my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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