You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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