i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
