1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
