these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
