Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night