I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.