Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys