I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right