His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.