I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
