I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
