But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.