Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
