Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant