He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?