I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo