I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer