I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.