I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
