Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
