sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.