Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over