He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on