im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
