The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms