On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again