I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire