Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
