Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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