Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.