you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.