Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
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I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me