clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
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wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!