i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My nipple is on Facebook.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She's JV to your varsity
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now