I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.