so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Send us your Text From Last Night!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.