we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.