If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Send us your Text From Last Night!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
