If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Send us your Text From Last Night!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow