You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.