Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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