At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.