We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either way he was missing a nipple.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights