what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Your penis caused this!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
That was before I lit my hair on fire
