So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Send us your Text From Last Night!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.