remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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