it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
